Have you been putting off telling your child that you are moving? Are you worried that their reaction will be a little less than enthusiastic?

It is common for school age children to see moving as a negative event. Many children will oppose a move because they don’t want to leave their friends and go to a new school. Even the most self-confident child can experience anxiety when faced with being the new kid. The older the child, the harder the transition can be.

If your family is gearing up for a move, it is important to understand your child’s concerns, and help them through the transition.

Having moved with my children, here are some suggestions that you may find helpful.

Avoid Making These Mistakes:

• Do not wait until the last minute to inform child of your move. Coming home to a For Sale sign in the front yard will definitely no set a good tone for your announcement.
• Do not let them hear about the move from someone else. Finding out they are moving from a neighbor, family member, or one of their friends can be very confusing and frustrating. Children don’t like being the last to know about things that have a direct impact on them.

Breaking the News to Your Kids:

• Hold a family meeting and have your facts ready. They will undoubtedly want to know why they have to move and where they will be moving to.
• Discuss their concerns.
  • How far away they will be moving away from friends and family? The ability to keep a connected with friends and family is always a priority for kids. You should develop a plan with your child on how those connections will be maintained.
  • What will happen to all of their belongings? I suggest allowing your child to help with packing their things. This reassures them their belongings are going with them to their new home.
• Make it real. Show your child their new home by taking them to see it or providing photos.
• Focus on the positives. Will your family have more money to take vacations and go on family outings? Will your child have a bigger bedroom or a backyard? Focus on the things your child will see as a benefit and reinforce the positives.

Transitioning Tips:

• Tips for Helping Child Make New Friends.
  • Role playing can help your child become comfortable with how to open a conversation.
  • When possible, meet your new neighbors and their child prior to your move.
  • Reassure your child that they aren’t being disloyal to old friends by making new ones.
  • Reassure them they can stay in touch with old friends by helping them write a letter, send an email, or arrange for a visit.
  • Let your child know their friends, both old and new, are always welcome at your house.

• Tips for Starting At a New School
  • Schedule a tour of the school prior to your child’s first day. It will ease their anxiety and give them a preview of the school layout.
  • Get a list of after school activities and see if you child is interested in participating in any of them.
  • If possible take your child to school their first day rather than sending them on the bus. They will appreciate having you beside them when they enter the classroom. By the end of the day they will probably have made a few friends and that will make it a less stressful and pleasant bus ride home.
  • On the first day, send in cupcakes. This will make your child a hit with the class and help break the ice.

The good news is children are resourceful and resilient. Most children will adapt to their new environment and thrive within a few months after moving. Your support, patience and love will be crucial in helping allay their fears about moving and making new friends.

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